Ephesians 4:26
"In your anger do not sin" Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry
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"STRESS MANAGEMENT"
"He who angers you...Controls you!"
Turning the cheek is wiser than starting a battle. We need to learn when to stand up and when to sit down concerning certain issues.
Below are 15 very helpful tips and words of encouragement for dealing with
difficult people you come across from time to time.
1. Forgiveness!
What would Jesus do if he were in a difficult situation? He would most likely forgive someone. My encouragement is to remember that at the very center of our being, we are all sinners and our judgment becomes clouded at times, and we may say hurtful things. Ask yourself, “What is it about this situation or person that I can seek to understand and forgive?“ God says that if we do not forgive others sins against us, then he will not forgive our sins. At the same time, we need to ask God for wisdom and patience with those who we don’t see eye to eye with.
2. Wait it out, timing is everything!
Sometimes I feel compelled to instantly speak out or send an email defending something I did. I've learned that emotionally charged words and actions never get us the result we want; they only add fuel to the fire. What is helpful in overcoming anger is taking time to allow ourselves to cool off. Instead of sending an emotionally charged email to the person, wait until you've cooled off before responding, or handle the situation live or in person. Making certain not to burn bridges with the other person, and using words of encouragement rather than words of blame or criticism can help in dealing with a difficult situation.
3. Does it really matter if I am right?
Sometimes we respond with the intention of defending the side we took a position on. If you find yourself arguing for the sake of being right, ask, “Does it matter that much if I am right?” If yes, then ask, “Why do I need to be right? What will I really gain?“ By asking yourself these questions, you’ll get a sense of encouragement inside your heart and in knowing you’ve done the right thing.
4. Don't respond!
Many times when a person initiates a negative message or difficult attitude, they’re trying to trigger a response from you. When we react, we’re actually giving them what they want. You can stop this from getting out of control by not giving in to their tactics and by simply not responding until you given the situation some time. We offer hundreds of helpful Christian books that provide other types of tips you can use in overcoming anger.
5. Stop talking about it if the discussion is going no where...
When you have a problem or a conflict in your life, don't you find that people just love talking about it? We end up repeating the story to anyone who'll listen. We express how much we hate the situation or person. What we fail to recognize in these moments that the more we talk about something, the more of that thing we'll notice. For example, the more we talk about how much we dislike a person, the more hatred we will feel towards them and the more we'll notice things about them that we dislike. The first step in changing this behavior is to stop talking about the problem and turn it into forgiveness. When you stop thinking and talking about it, you’re using a basic anger management technique that you will help your situation.
6. Have you put yourself in the other persons’ shoes?
As cliche as this may sound, we tend to forget that we become blind-sided in the situation. Try putting yourself in their position and consider how you may have hurt their feelings. This understanding will give you a new perspective on becoming rational again, and may help you develop compassion for the other person. You can also turn it around and ask yourself, “Would I rather be spoken to harshly or given words of encouragement?” The answer is obvious – we all need encouragement to deal with difficult people and to live a better life.
7. Look for the lessons to be learned!
No situation is ever lost if we can take away from it some lessons that will help us grow and become a better person. Regardless of how negative a scenario may appear, there is always a hidden gift in the form of a lesson. Find the lesson in your situation.
8. Choose to limit the time you spend with negative people.
Negative people can be a drain on your energy. And people who are unhappy or angry often want to bring you down emotionally, so that they’re not down there alone. Be aware of this. Unless you have a lot of time on your hands and do not mind the energy drain, I recommend that you set up healthy boundaries in your life to deal with these kinds of people. Not cold walls, but healthy boundaries while keeping in mind that they are likely dealing with issues of their own and could use some compassion and understanding. Providing words of encouragement to people who are negative might make a difference.
9. Become an listener & observer!
When we practice becoming the observer of our feelings, our thoughts and the situation, we separate ourselves away from the emotions. Instead of identifying with the emotions and letting them consume us, we observe them with clarity and detachment. When you find yourself identifying with emotions and thoughts, bring your focus on God and what he would want you to do, not what you feel like doing. Overcoming your anger can be easier when you take time to learn about God and his plan for living a better life.
10. Get some exercise and care for your health.
Go for a walk, run, swim, or some other workout. Physical exercise can help to release the negative and excess energy in us. Use exercise as a tool to clear your mind and release built up negative energy. Keeping healthy allows you to handle stressful situations better, for example, if you smoke cigarettes, try to quit smoking. If you drink alcohol or use other drugs, those can be a negative factor as well. Living a healthier lifestyle can help in recovery from addictions and in managing stress.
11. Worst Case Scenario?
Ask yourself two questions:
1. “If I do not respond, what is the worst thing that can result from it?“
2. “If I do respond, what is the worst thing that can result from it?“
Answering these questions often adds perspectives to the situation, and you'll realize that nothing good will come out of reacting before thinking. Your efforts will be wasted, and your emotions will become upset in a vicious circle.
12. Avoid heated discussions with anyone!
When we're emotionally charged, we don’t think clearly and argue out of an impulse to be right, to defend ourselves, for the sake of our egos. If a discussion is necessary, wait until you and everyone has cooled off before diving into further discussion. If the other person is a Christian, take it to your church for advice and spiritual help. Remember to keep in mind that the Bible and other helpful Christian books provide the information and wisdom needed to deal with all types of people and situations in life.
13. What is really important?
List the things in your life that are the most important to you. Then ask yourself, “Will a reaction to this person contribute to the things that matter the most to me, and is it necessary at this time?“ As you grow and learn about God more, you’ll be able see what’s really important in life.
14. Honey rather than vinegar!
This approach can catch people off guard when they're trying to “Pour Poison” on you. Compliment the other person for something they did well, tell them you've learned something new through interacting with them, and maybe offer to become friends. Remember to be genuine. You might have to dig deep to find something that you appreciate about this person but as the saying goes, “you get more bees with honey than with vinegar.” Try offering encouragement and love rather than harsh words in helping others in overcoming anger.
15. Write it down?
Take out some paper and list all the random and negative thoughts you can by writing freely without editing. Make sure nobody will ever see it, because the reason for writing this is to become free of the weight you have been carrying. Continue to do so until you have nothing else to say. Now, roll the paper up into a ball and let go of it, by giving it to God. Toss the paper ball in the trash as you ask God to help you turn the page on this situation and just let it go and to move on to live a better life – free from negativity!
Words of encouragement from the Bible -
Why you shouldn’t be worried...
Matthew 6:25-34
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Words of encouragement from the Bible - Controlling your anger…
Ephesians 4:25-32
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin" Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you!
Are you in H.A.L.T.?
The H.A.L.T. syndrome stands for someone who is Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. If these describe how you’re feeling, then you need to make positive changes in your life through words of encouragement, spiritual help and the online resources here at NeedEncouragement.com.
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Do the H.A.L.T. Test = Are you getting too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.
If you are? Then this is when Anger can get a hold of you and overcoming anger becomes that much more difficult!When you stuff your stressful feelings deep inside, many times your actions come out as anger or other ways that steal from life, rather than add to life.
If you are any of these 4 emotions above, one of the best ways of many on how to deal with anger before it deals with you, is to figure out how you are feeling at any given time. This way you will have a clue when anger is just around the corner or not.
Which 2 emotion picture below describes closest how you are feeling right now? If you are experiencing any of these four symptoms, especially in dealing with anger management issues and stress, try using some of the techniques listed above to help in overcoming anger. Being aware of what situations trigger your anger and behavior before they occur will help you deal with them in a positive way. Getting encouragement from helpful Christian books can help you overcome symptoms of H.A.L.T and allow you to live a better life.
What are you feeling? Which of the faces and emotions shown below can you relate to? Which are you feeling like right now?
(Pick a picture of cartoon faces below)
If you’ve ever heard the words "He who angers you controls you!” you’ve probably been in a situation where you have allowed the attitudes of others to anger you and control your behavior.
These are excellent words of encouragement that remind us to change and live a better life.
There are 2 important things to remember in life:
- Don't sweat the SMALL STUFF.
- Most things that people worry about can be considered SMALL STUFF.
One of the secrets in overcoming anger is using your intelligence instead of your emotions. There are many encouraging books in our online store that will help you learn how to do this. We offer helpful Christian books that provide spiritual help in overcoming anger while building your faith in God.
Find out in this video below how to manage stress better while trying to live a Christian life.
Is stress & anger getting
the best of you?
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Please call 24 hours a day
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Take Dr. OZ's
Stress Test Today!
"Angry & stressed out Women" in this parking lot video below?
Has anything like this happened to you?
Watch how two women in the video on the right, let their pride, stress and anger get the best of them in this parking lot situation. While the situation is extreme and unlikely, it provides an example where anger management techniques can help. Have you let your anger get the best of you lately?
What can you learn from this video?
1. Stress and anger that isn’t dealt with or managed can easily boil over into rage.
2. Taking revenge on someone can only make things worse.
3. When you become angry or full of stress, don’t allow the anger to turn into sin. Pray and ask God to help you in this area of life especially if it has caused problems for you in the past.
Learn from some of our Encouraging Books on how to deal with situations like anger and other situations that are in your life.
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